Wednesday, October 12, 2005

"Nipples! Buttocks! Knickers!" exclaims the Home Secretary.

In the Express and Star, 12 October 2005, Peter Rhodes gives his verdict on a TV satire about UK Cabinet minister David Blunkett. 'A Very Social Secretary' was on More4.

"Talk dirty to me!" Quinn orders Blunkett between the sheets.

"Nipples! Buttocks! Knickers!" exclaims the Home Secretary.

In another scene the blind politician is seen signing arrest warrants for terrorist suspects with one hand while holding a phone in the other to arrange his weekend love-nest.

Tony and Cherie Blair were played for laughs by Robert Lindsay and comedienne Doon Mackichan while the real power behind the throne, Alastair Campbell (Alex Jennings) lurked in the background, bringing the bad news in short, sharp bulletins: "Two flats in Bristol and a convicted fraudster."

The cringe-comedy was at its most pathetic in the way people responded to Blunkett's deepening plight.

"I just want this to last for ever," the smitten politician says to his already-bored Kimberly. A look of pure disdain crosses her face.

It is a cardinal rule of British politics that if a politician behaves like a prat he deserves to be seen as a prat.

And just when you're feeling some sympathy for this Blunkett, he says or does something to lose it.

In the final scene, after this year's General Election, his jubilant bodyguard, a nasty little right-winger, is enthusing about New Labour's agenda: send bloody asylum seekers back, put businesses in charge of hospitals, more selective schools.

"We're just doing what's right," insists Blunkett.

"I have always done what's right."

Best line comes from Blair as he tells Blunkett he's replacing him with Charles Clarke: "Well, David, no-one's going to want to sleep with him, are they?"



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